News
Raccoon Heist Gone Wrong
Honestly I would watch an Oceans 11 heist with raccoons. I think this could be the next big thing. I did not previously know that their masks are functional anti-glare devices to maximize their eyesight, and I also learned about a raccoon named Rebecca who lived in the White House. Apparently she was supposed to be served as Thanksgiving dinner? Because that was a thing??? (there was actually a really fascinating period of time where the guy who had historically been responsible for providing the turkey for the annual white house thanksgiving dinner died, and a bunch of farmers all decided to swoop into the power vacuum and would send random/outlandish things to be eaten at the thanksgiving dinner in the hopes of currying favor, which is how Rebecca ended up being on the menu.) But this was during Calvin Coolidge's presidency and he was a picky eater and had never tried raccoon before so he said nope, not gonna eat her, and instead they kept her as a mascot and made her a little engraved collar and built her a treehouse on the white house lawn. They also got her a spouse named Reuben but she wasn't impressed and they never got along, and one day he just disappeared and was never seen again. When she eventually died, after Hoover became president a possum moved into Rebecca's old treehouse and they named him Billy, but he wasn't nearly as popular as Rebecca (aka he didn't like participating in the easter egg roll every year and charming guests).
Meet the Granfluencers
If you were ever going to get on tiktok, I feel like this would be the corner you would want to end up in. I need to see if any of them have good youtube channels where they repost their shorts, it reminds me a little of that group of old british guys, Northern Boys. I feel like I maybe sent you a link of them, but I can't remember if that was one of those things I saved but then couldn't decide if it was actually worth sending? Either way, I like the granfluencers better, and would like to find more of their content not on tiktok.
Why Hagoromo Chalk Is So Expensive
It's not narrated by Mr. Rogers, but otherwise it's basically just a longer version of the crayon video. The texture of the chalk going onto the chalkboard is incredibly satisfying, and it's just a very soothing video in general. The narrator has a nice calm accent too, as an added bonus. I read a separate article that was mostly just mathematicians waxing poetic about their love for Hagoromo chalk, which was very endearing, and they had some fab one-liners like "I think the secret ingredient is angel tears" or describing using the chalk as a "tactile, romantic connection" 🙃
Minnesota Man Starts Cat Tour in His Historic Neighborhood as a Joke. Now, Hundreds Show Up Every Year (Exclusive)
Are you familiar with this cat tour?? Is this some sort of Minneapolis establishment that everyone but me knows about??? I've had this article saved to send to you for a while lol, but the little cat profiles people display is giving the same energy as the spider dating profiles 😂
Bonus video on a cat retirement village in Shropshire, narrated by a nice vet with a soothing British accent. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hjIlQw62AQ&list=PL55jtstP55WFjOxZ4FviGpRS0kXafychD&index=123
‘The worst meal of my life’: Scathing review of Michelin-starred restaurant goes viral
I cannot for the life of me wrap my head around BELLYBUTTON MOLD that you have to slurp something out of. Like. I just. Really wish I could go back and hear the conversation that led to that being a thing. I went down a really neat rabbithole of terrible experiences at michelin-starred restaurants after this, did you ever read the one about Bros in Lecce? That one had a mold of the chefs mouth that you had to slurp a foam out of, so maybe I am just not cultured enough to comprehend the appeal of body-part molds in fine dining....
These birds should lawyer up
I love Hank Green so much. So many facts. Him playing The Fix during the Mentopolis campaign of Dimension 20 is one of my favorite things ever, I watched a compilation of every single fun fact he used during the campaign and was absolutely enraptured. It was, however, slightly more challenging to find a fun fact of his that is actually just fun and not in any way sinister or anxiety-inducing lol. I am now really curious about how many notes are common in the most frequently used bird calls for different species, and if there is any way to determine a useful mean # of notes across species. Also how many different sequences of notes from bird calls pop up in songs, but that seems like it might be slightly harder to research. But then again maybe not, I could totally see some brilliant wonderful person with dual special interests in pop music and bird calls who has created an in-depth spreadsheet comparison....I'll report back on my findings.
Ranking the Pain of Stinging Insects, From ‘Spicy’ to ‘Shockingly Electric’
This man is one of my new favorite humans. His descriptions are the stuff writers dream about crafting, I can only hope to be so eloquent one day. Also just the sheer dedication of methodically categorizing and describing so many different stings??? It's a good thing he was not a completionist and seemed to have some way of determining which ones were worth his time/agony, because that could have been a really wild undertaking otherwise.
When babies are born, they cry in the accent of their mother tongue: how does language begin in the womb?
Requisite linguistics article for this newsletter :) There's some descriptive stuff related to fetuses and development in the context of abortion and miscarriage research, in case you're not interested in reading that right now, but it's a really interesting article about language development and nature vs. nurture.
The Disobedient Children of Monsters
Okay this is the only one that isn't happy/nice for the brain, although I guess it kind of is nice in the sense of "people doing better than their parents and trying to right wrongs"? Still not exactly a cheerful read, but since I already told you about it and don't want to lose it in my neverending cascade of links, I'm just going to leave it here and you can read at whatever point you're interested lol. Historias Desobedientes has an instagram that has short interview clips with different members that are also interesting, separate from the article.
Tiny Baby Goat Snuggles On Sofa With Her Dog Siblings
And of course, I can't send a newsletter without at least one cute baby goat video! This one is especially tiny and endearing, I have to say. This goat is living her best life with all of her buddies, and I love that for her. When I was looking for images to drop in with the link, I also realized that "baby goats in clothes" is a whole untapped mine of potential dopamine, so rest assured that will be included in future newsletters :)